Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Life at the current moment .

It's 2.53 am and honestly I don't even know what I'm doing up so late . So much has happened over these few days and it's so hard to keep track of my life . Preventing myself from going off-track is already hard enough , what more stopping myself from crashing ? 

The pressure has finally caught up & I feel so ... just so tired . I am not exactly sure of what , studying or just simply repeating the same mundane routine every freaking day . O levels is just a couple of months away and it feels like a dream , just so surreal . Truth be told , I don't even think I'm prepared for this . Well that's that .. Studies . 

Recently , Noah texted me again asking why I was mad with him & JFC that made me even more mad , like uhm i don't know ?? Ask yourself where you were when I needed you the most . You're a selfish prick who is so self centred and only come to me when you don't have anyone else to depend on . " for you I was a chapter & for me he was the novel " 


notice how past tense is used . 
Thanks for the memories , even if they weren't so great . 

So Myron is gay again , great . Just when I start liking him again , he tells me he has a crush on Dexter ... What is up with me falling for the wrong guy , always ? I cried at the thought , of how Myron will never realise how happy he makes me . At the thought of how I will never hold his hand and him calling me beautiful .. Oh well :-) 
He's a great friend nevertheless & I love him all the same <3 On Saturday , we went on a study date , which was initiated by him pft ironic cause he didn't even study at all . Anyways , we were walking and his hands brushed against my hips ( thank Jesus I was wearing the right underwear ) & I just ... 😳 
And the other time , he brushed his hand against mine , on accident I presume . But omg I wanted to cryyyyyy ahhhh !!! :-( 
Alsssssooooo he drank my drink hehe ~ 
But I think what made me really want to pull all my hair out was when I was doing my work & I could feel him staring at me so when I looked up and asked him " what ? " 
He was like " nothing I'm just gonna watch you do your work " 
GAAAAASP !!! t_t not really a biggie but definitely a biggie for me heheh 

That's about it for tonight , 3.06 am hahaha back to mugging for Social studies 😊

Jyoti <3

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