goals i'm no where near

Hello , so where do I start , mmmhmm so this is year is my O level year and finally reality is setting and sinking in ( HALLELUJAH )

I'm more or less certain on the path I'd wanna follow after my O levels & so far JC seems like a more preferred option , don't ask why tho . I really really really really so badly wanna get my ass in Saint Andrews JC and their cut off point is like 9 ?? Meaning I'd have to get 11 points , 5 A2s and an A1 , looking at my current progress , I doubt I can even get into Innova JC which has a cut off point of 20 ;---;
It's not that I choose to be this lazy or dumb or idek man . I try but the thing is I'm obviously not trying hard enough , and it breaks my heart and makes me really sad because when will my good ever be good enough . There's about 7 more months to prove that I can do it & all I really need is belief and strength . ( breathes heavily )

It's only March and I am so burned out , so so tired . Of school , of friends , of family , of love , of life ...
SssssssIGHHHHHH
I feel like going on a roadtrip to no where and just live as a gypsy , all these responsibilities and expectations are really tiring me out and I have no idea how long more I can hold on ..


I also miss Nepal very very very much , so homesick , dreamt of Nepal again :-(
I'm really glad there's a possibility I might be going for a loooong vacation after my O's so yea , there you have it , another motivation to do well and get it over and done with (ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

I think that's about it & oh , my readers from Singapore , Happy holidays and have great term break !! n___n